My "WHY" story speech presented April 2007to Canadian Conference of Operating Room Nurses

My name is Diana Johnson.

December 4th, 2004 I was given an extraordinary second chance at living a full life.  I call that my Re-Birthday.  That is the day I had Gastric Bypass Surgery. This was a serious operation and a life altering decision on my part that requires a deep commitment for the rest of my life. As far back as I can remember my weight has been the single most defining, limiting, and self-destructive issue in my life. Before I get ahead of my self let me tell you how I got to this point in my life where medical intervention was my only option.

I was adopted at the age of 14 months after a series of traumatic events with my biological family.  I was an average size child raised by parents of a normal weight. Around nine I stared to develop into what you would call a chubby child.  We ate healthy meals prepared by my father who was a chef. There was no in between meal snacking and dining out was never at fast food franchises. I had a “healthy appetite” and earned the nickname “garbage guts” from my father. My weight crept upwards gradually.

Being bigger did not stop me from joining in and indulging my competitive spirit. I probably weighed 170-180lbs and was playing on all the school teams. If there was a ball involved I was probably chasing it. Perhaps my weight held me back from being as fast as the other girls but I didn’t lack the tenacity.

My senior year of high school I began what would become years of bulimic habits.  I began purging my normal sized meals, exercising excessively and taking diet pills. My self image was being shaped by compliments made of my shrinking body. By graduation I was a trim 138 pounds. I looked good but was an emotional train wreck.  Patterns would begin to emerge over the years. Heartbreak would give rise to diets, love and contentment would see me packing on extra pounds and self loathing would trigger dormant bulimia. My metabolism never knew if it was feast or famine.

28 years of practice and I became a professional dieter. I had tried a multitude of diets, health plans and life changes suggested by books, doctors, friends and family.  I would always excitedly start a plan following through sometimes as long as a year. I would lose weight. At times massive amounts but along the way a plateau or an incident would discourage me and I would start to regain weight often reaching a new all-time high.  Those of us who have struggled with this disease have spent billions of dollars on a weight loss industry that has become a socially sanctioned game.  It feeds on our misogynistic culture and a media obsessed with thinness.  What we are left with is broken self esteem and an empty wallet.

2003 was an emotionally difficult year for me.  I hit a new low point and began treatment for depression and panic attacks. I came to the shocking realization that I was no longer myself physically or mentally .In fact,   I hated that I had become. It pained me to live in my own skin   Everyday I lived with chronic back pain. My arthritis became unmanageable and by the end of almost every day my ankles and feet were swollen and throbbing. My knees were in constant pain with all the popping and locking.   My family physician began to reprimand me when my blood pressure reached borderline high.  I shamefully I lived with stress incontinence fearing that when I laughed, sneezed or moved the wrong away I would wet my pants. At 38 years old I had to consider buying Depends.  I began to develop open sores and terrible smells emitted from my folds of my fat, despite, good hygiene.   Physical exhertion at work would tax my heart, and eventually trigger panic attacks. Everyday I was sure that my weight would kill me and still I felt powerless because I was a failure at all I had attempted.

I started paying attention to timely American commercials advocating Bariatric surgery.  I began researching and suddenly I had hope.   What I learned was that weight loss surgery is the most effective form of therapy for morbid obesity. For people who need to lose 50 to 80 percent of their excess body weight and maintain that loss, the odds of achieving long term success with diet and exercise are unlikely.   Armed with all the facts I knew that gastric bypass was my final option and in agreement my family physician referred me to Dr. Amson in Victoria

During my 22 month wait for surgery Dr Amson encouraged me to make some lifestyle changes in order to be ready for what lay ahead.  I began to eat healthier and more importantly began an exercise routine that would carry into my post operative life.  Having the surgery alone is not effective. It is possible to have this surgery and not have the expected weight loss. One must follow rigorous guidelines, be willing to eat less, make physical activity part of everyday life and have a strong support system in place.

December 4, 2004 I had my gastric bypass.  My diet post operatively has changed radically. Gone are the high calorie, high fat foods that my new system cannot tolerate. In place are three very small meals and two healthy snacks a day. I take, and will take, nutritional supplements for the rest of my life. I exercise everyday. This week I will be running my third 10K race. Yes, I said running. My friends and family say I am back to being myself again. I lost 130 lbs and I feel great.

Two and a half years later you probably would not guess that I have struggled with morbid obesity. The only remnants of that life are carefully hidden folds of loose skin.  Thanks to gastric bypass and my adherence to the post operative guidelines all of my co-morbidities are gone. In fact I am off of all medication. The surgery provided me with the ability to manage some of the aspects in my life such as the quantities of food I can eat. I am grateful for this improvement and the feelings of pride, satisfaction and love of my new physical self.

I stand before you today speaking for all those in my support network who are waiting for their gastric bypass surgery dates…waiting for their Rebithdays   Without immediate changes a steadily rising percentage of adults and children will succumb to the medical complications of obesity. Indeed the medical burden of obesity already threatens to overwhelm health services.

Gastric Bypass Surgery is proven effective.  I , along with my peers, will keep appealing to the government for base funding to increase hospital surgical capacities ,as well as further funding for specialized  bariatric equipment and  healthy lifestyle educational initiatives.  We hope that in sharing our personal stories that we can show all of you in the medical front lines that this surgery works. Bariatrics needs you! According to the Canadian Obesity Network up to 23 % of adults are considered obese and 59% of our adult population is overweight.  That is staggering! In all likelihood there are some people in this room who may someday require this highly specialized surgery.   I hope that we will someday be able to deliver better access to this vital surgery and to the doctors and nurses who are granting us our Re-Birthdays .

Dr Amson I thank you and your team for giving me mine.

Highest Weight 270

Surgery Weight 255

Low Weight 136

Current 143

Disclaimer

This site is intended to provide  users with  information only. It is not intended as medical advice to any specific person. If you have any need for personal advice or have any questions regarding your health, please consult your personal physician.

December 21, 2002

After a brief hospital stay for gall bladder problems, I went to my GP and asked for a referral to a bariatric surgeon for a Roux-En-Y(SEE DIAGRAM BEOW)  I went armed with documents and studies. My physician was not even familiar with the term bariatric surgery.  I was afraid that he would need to time to research.  He was not even sure who to refer me to.  I had come  prepared with the names of two Victoria surgeons and Dr B agreed to the referral.  My feet were floating when I left the office.

January 9, 2003

I am still wating to hear from Dr Amson's office in Victoria. I have found out that there is a full years wait for surgery.  My feet aren't floating so high now!  I did find out that Dr. Leung in Vancouver preforms Laproscopic Lap Banding (Silicone Belt around the stomach as opposed to surgical altering). This procedure is not covered by BC medical. The cost of his operation is just short of $12,000. ($18,000 american for the same operation in Seattle).  Dr. Leungs receptionist told me that I could have the band done by mid March. I considered this but am concerned that I.would require a more restrictive procedure. I am firm on the Roux-En-Y  So here I am...waiting to hear from my original referral.

February 2, 2003

Hallalluahah!!!  I heard from Dr Amson's office, just when I was giving up hope.  My first consultation is on March 21.  I have been having so many gall bladder attacks during this wait. I have found a BMI index indicator at Obesity.com and will paste it below. I am sitting at 43.  I have corresponded with one of Dr. A's former patient's and she has enlightened me to the long process.  Appointments with a Nutritionalist,  a endocrinologist and a respirologist.  I am so petrified that my medicated bought with depression last year will be detrimetal in some way. BC medical states something to the fact that you cannot be suffering from depression to be considered for surgery. HELLO...my governement pencil pushers, one of the most prevailent co-morbidities of obesity is depression. Arrgg!

Mar 16,2003

Countdown 5 days. I desparately want to feel that excitement, that adreneline rush that accompanies positive change, but I have endured so many huge let downs in my life that I have become jaded.  I went and visited that BC Government Sugery Wait List Site  and Dr Amsons numbers are very high.  I guess you can deduct that I was never really good at waiting for Santa either. Well at least you could pinpoint Christmas to a certain day!

March 21,2003

Up at 6:00 am and on the road to Victoria by 7:30. Spent part of the day exploring kitchy little shops.  Came upon a bank robbery.Hmm..an omen?  To my appointment at 2:30 only to be told that the Dr Amson was running a "few hours" behind.  OK another bad omen!  My superstitions are running rampant by now.  At 3:30 the doctor came out and took all four of us waiting for our separate consultations in at once. The two ladies ahead of me were kind enough to agree with a group consult.  He started with me by asking about my weight history and attempts. He then asked how much I knew about the procedure I was requesting. I whipped out my thick binder. He was impressed as he flipped through the articles thatI had achived. He had actually studied under some of the medical authors.  He admitted that I was well prepared.  I was expecting the worst, but it looks like we may be able to proceed within maybe the next six months/one year ( acccording to what he has said).  It sounds like he fast-tracks people who will comply with the program, faster.  I am thrilled.  I was taken with the sensitivity that Dr Amson exudes and I felt a kinship with 2 of the girls (Kris and Leanne) and we have said we will keep in touch as a mini support group. It's will be great to relate to someone who is tackeling this at the same time! The following months will entail appointments with endocrinologists, nutritionalist and others on the Amson team.  We will also have to have an overnight appointment with a resprologist  to evaluate possible sleep apnea (which would explain the 10 years of poor sleep!).  Well it's 10:00 pm and I am slowing coming down from this natural high. I am anticipating losing 100-125 pounds ( see the following site to determine rate of weight loss http://clos.net/predict-wt-loss.htm

.  . Oh to be thin for Christmas!!!  I think I'll rephrase that little Christmas ditty "All I want for Christmas is to see my two big feet!"  I have signed up with the BC Weightloss Surgery Supoort Site so I can follow others journeys.

I am now on orders to start a soft  fitness program that will sustain me right through the pre-op and the post-op period. Theresa;strap on those walking shoes!  We are also required visit our PCP to be weighed and poked at every two weeks.

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Cupidskiss' Corner (family homepage)

When you come to the edge of all the light you know,

are about to step off into the darkness of the unknown,

faith is knowing one of two things will happen:

There will be something solid to stand on,

or you will be taught to fly.

-Barbara J. Winter

Questions to ask

WLS Humour

Co-morbidities

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WLS Links

My Pre-op Photo Gallery

Pouch Rules For Dummies

Complications with WLS

How to weigh yourself

What is dumping?

FAQS

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Canadian Bariatric Doctors/Support Groups

Which surgery is right for me

MyWLSJourney Continues

Obesity Help.com

Post Op  year one

a year of change

My comparison pics

OMG still waiting

Page 3am I gonna live long enough

Pre-OP   Dec 04 approx 255     July 06 -17 months Post-op @143 lbs

Most people celebrate their birthday once a year.  Not me though. I guess I am a little special in that repect . I was granted a second birthday...lets call it a rebirth day. That was the day I underwent weight loss surgery. Here is my story..do you have three hours or so?

Post-Op Year Two

life goes on

Post WLS Foods