Happy New Years to all. My family had a good Christmas but call me Scrooge ( but give me a break cause I work for the world's busiest retailer) I am so glad it is all over. We are now on coundown (33 days , 1hour and 25 minutes) until our Disneyland trip. Do you think I am a little psyched?! Last time we went in 2001 I didn't know to ask for seat belt extenders on the flight. I had that belt stretched as far as it could go. Such an uncomfortable experience. And on top of that you feel like you are shoulder to shoulder with the person next to you. I got off lucky then though..there are others who are charged an extra fare because of their girth. At least this time I will be flying without feeling I am invading someone elses space. And man, to be able to ride the rides and walk all day and not be stared at and just be me!
Don and I went to Victoria and rang in the New Year with fellow WLS-ers Kris, Maureen, Dianne and their respective hubbies. Had a hoot. Kris's transformation blows me away. She is so beautiful (not that she wasn't before) but wow!
Don't think that I didn't enjoy shopping for an outfit to wear too. There are choices out there and you don't have to settle for what is left on Pennigtons rack. All of us ladies enjoyed getting dressed up. Made it to bed somewhere around 1am but was out of bed at 6:30 and into the hotel fitness room repenting the next morning.
Yesterday we took the kids up the mountain and played on the Ozone (Tubing runs on Mt Washington). Unbeleiveably more fun this time without the extra 130lbs I was carrying. The real setback is not having the body fat to keep warm. I can't believe how much I just want to play now. If money were not an issue I would be trying everything. Paige and I watched the skiers yesterday and promised ourselves lessons next year. Would like to someday learn to surf ( think Hawaii or California waves) and try wind sailing again (not since I was 17). Will have to get my adreneline rush this year from the Knotts Berry Farm roller coasters I guess
(33 days, 1 hour and 12 minutes)....
My weight remains around 136-138. I did have one day last week where the scal e went up to 144 and that was enough for me to try to stop the grazing. It is very easy to fall back into bad habits.Surgery is only a tool . It is up to us to work that tool. Too many sit back and expect it to do the work for them. You cannot go on eating all the same foods as you did pre-op. You cannot not be sedantary. You need to be physical for your metabolism sake. There are so many waiting on the wait list who are really willing to do what is required and it is disconcerting to see people getting surgery dates who either do not even have a clue about what a gastric bypass is or what is in store for their future. These are the same people who months down the road are not exercising, who are chowing the same high fat or sweet foods and wondering why they are not losing weight unlike others. It is not fair to those who have prepared themselves. There are exceptions, of course, including those who develop genuine problems post-op.
If you are a pre-op and reading this journal make me a promise that you will go into this well educated and determined. Make it work for you and you work for it.
January 15, 2006
Shouting from the mountain tops(((((((((Kris is pregnant, Kris is peganant))))))). Wow I'm so excited!!! Not that I had a lot to do with it. OK actally nothing to do with it except send postive vibes. I know this is something that she has been wanting since the day we met. I am so happy that her good health has afforded her this blessing. I wish that i was closer so that I could vicriously live this out with her. Awww I wish it were me... until I smack myself along side of the head and into reality "are you not thinking straight GRANDMA?!"
January 20, 2006
Wow...how exciting. I received an email from a documentrary filming crew asking if I would be interested in contributing to a show they are producing. What a fabulous oppertunity to advocate for those still waiting and surgeons needing more OR time. A good way to let poeple know it is not a rash decision or a quick fix. It is a life altering decision. What an honor it will be.
January 26, 2006
I talked to the producer of the documentary on the telephone today. It sounds like a very intriguing series they are doing. They are hoping to make it over to the island to film in mid February. I will keep you all informed.
It was actually a beautiful spring like day today. It is so much easier to motivate myself into physical activity when your muscles aren't contracting in the freezing cold! I went for a jog today. The knee is still bugging me a bit. I am hoping to stregthen it a bit. my hopes are to be able to run at least part of the Times Columnist 10KM in April. If not run then a hoofing it pace of walking.
Proud Mama moment; Paige and I have been bowling together every week ( aside from her regular league bowling which I am now helping coach). This year she gave up the two handed delivery and is throwing with one hand. Her average had gone up 20 pins since Sept. She has once again qualified for the Four Steps to Stardom team but is going to have to decline her position because the tournament falls on the day we are flying back from vacation. Disapointing, as it is something she has worked so hard for and wanted to go to.
All the extra bowling we have been doing has been a great help at toning my "batwings". I went to the shooting range with my two brothers in law (both champion marksmen so they knew to be extra careful around me lol). I was amazed at the amount of muscle control it involved too. I really enjoyed myself. Don turned out to be the better markman in this marriage though..so perhaps I will let him think he is King for a while!
January 31, 2006
I pre-registered myself for the Times Columnist 10KM in April. Now I am totally committed and can't back out. We talked about it at our North Island WLS Support Group last night and it is actually sounding like the majority of us are going down for it. Now I'm stoked.
I have suggested that we start a Sunday morning walking group that will meet at the airpark . I need to start building up my running a bit as I would like to do at least part of the race at a run. In any case I will be interested to find out if I can better my time from our 10KM that I did as a new post-op. Thats my goal anyway. I'm thinking that If the weather improves I might start taking my sweats and run a lap of it at lunch instead of twiddling my thumbs. Hmmm I'm gonna pack a gym bag now. Speaking of packing... 12 days..5 hours...and 43 minutes till Disney!
February 24, 2006
Wow! My BJ turned 17 yesterday. How quickly the years fly by. Too fast and then they are gone. And yet somedays we are counting the minutes until they leave!
Disneyland....Disneyland was enchanting again. I revert back to my inner child the minute I start walking onto the esplanade betweeen the two parks and hear the music. Most days consisted of me conjolling everyone to "hurry up...c'mon...let's go". I had unbelieveable energy this time and was not inhibited in any way. I commented to Don that in 2001 I was limping my way back to our adjacent hotel room at the end of the day. This time we went back and forth from room to the park up to a couple of times a day on top of the miles we did in the parks. I swear I could have kept on going hours after they closed. No foot pain. No body pain. Just boundless energy and enthusiasm. I ate relatively healthy most of the time. Disney had become really concious of the demand for healthier eating options. There were plenty of types of salads, wraps, fresh fruit and veggies. I wavered a few times and had a fresh pretzel here and greasy pocorn there. Thankfully with the miles (and I mean miles) of walking I came back the same weight I left. Actually a couple pounds less as I had grazed my way up to 142 before I left.
The week went by entirely to fast and I felt such dread knowing I had to go back and join the real world. Paige and I agree that I should just dye my hair blond, go back and audition to be Tinkebelle. Suits me to a "T" with her "Mood subject to change without notice" slogan!
I made it through the first work week back all the while batttling a wicked cold that we picked up on the flight home. Just like me to fall apart after all the build up is over.
This weekend the filming crew from Insight Films is coming. I am for the first time feeling butterflies. I don't want to mess up and not represent my peers in the wrong light. I am afterall, by no means an expert on this subject. Everyday I am still learning too. On Saturday they are interviewing Stacy from Parksville. She is a pre-op whom with Dr Amson is allowing them to document her surgery on Monday morning. On Sunday morning they will arrive at my home and interview with me.
I actually had an email from a senior producer from the Bill Good Show on CKNW Vancouver email me at short notice and ask if I would paticipate in their broadcast of "dieting stories/failures". I was to give my surgery prospective. Unfortunately with it being my first week back to work post-vacation I could not have wangled the time . Some of the Victoria folks paticipated in a radio talk show on CFAX with Dr Amson during the same time slot.
I finally feel like "our community" is getting the oppertunity to advocate for Bariatric sugery in this province. More OR time, more surgeons, more hospital beds, more health dollars for equipment and for staffing and more thorough understanding of bariatrics and the long term benefits..
Well I will fill you all in how the weekend goes. Send me some good luck vibes!
Kris and I both in her old jacket!
Maureen , Julie, Kris, Diane and myself!
March 1, 2006
Well I think perhaps with Febraury out of the way I can undo a buttton on my pants, sit back and let out a proverbial sigh. But them again as I have reinterated in the past, I am a planner and that is what I thrive on. It won't be long until I move onto something else that I can sink my teeth into. In retrospect I wish that I had gone on with my hosptiality and tourism studies and taken the Travel Agent Course. A planner I am and nothing would suit me better than helping other people make their plans. Hmm 40 birthday only days around the corner and all the questions of would have, could have if circumstances had been different.
The Insight Film Crew were at my home on Sunday. On Saturday they had already visited Stacy from Parkville. She is a pre-op of Dr Amsons whom has agreed to have her Laproscopic Roux-EN-Y Bypass filmed on Monday morning. Saturday afternoon Stacy and I had a coversation via the phone. I felt a conncection with her and cannot wait to meet her in person at my March Support Group meeting if she is feeling well enough by then. In a small way it is this journal that has tied our stories together.
Anyways picking up where I left off ;through snow and crappy road conditions they made it. My house just seemed full of production equiment and I marvel how they get all that in the van and leave room for them to fit.
I was a bundle of nerves but Barry the producer/interviewer was very easy going and put me to ease while lights, cameras and audio were set up. The first segment was the intial interview. When the camera was rolling I was self concious and always felt that I was not holding the thread of the question , just babbling. I felt like I have so much to say but it is so hard to put into a few minutes of talking. I know I was enbarrassed to be speaking of some of the stuff I have written because it is something to be writing down your thoughts on sex and another thing to be sitting face to face with a stranger and talking to them about it. I don't know why. There really is no difference. I am putting myself out there for critisism just rambling on here.
The snow kind of fouled up opportunities for shooting B-Roll footage. Thats those clips that they cut to that are made to look as though you are doing something natually like riding your bike with the family. In light of mother nature they instead had me running on my bedroom treadmill which in itself proved to be a situation. Don and I both contacted horrible nasel colds on the plane coming back from vacation so not wanting to have a raw runny nose I loaded up on sinus medicine and stupidly skipped breaky.The only fluids I had taken in was a coffee They set up those big hot lights and I began what woould be a 28 minute run. It didn't take long for the sweats to start (and have I mentioned before that I don't REALLY sweat anymore. Well by the end of it I was so on the verge of fainting. That would have been some good TV lol. I told Don as he was standing off to the side that this would be the first and the last time that he would have a full film crew in our bedroom.
It turned into about a five hour visit. I don't imagine after editing that my segment should be very long. So for all of you interested in tuning into this series of stories it is to be airing nationally in Canada on your Global TV provider starting on Wednesday March 8th at 9:00. I am told that the gastric bypass segment will not air until about May but do not hesitate to watch the whole thing ( wishing I could get them to hook me up with one of these amazing plastic surgeons they talked about and get this tummy tucked!). The bits and pieces I have heard from this production team make it sound enthralling. I believe it is tenatively called "Transformations".
O
March 3 /06
Its time to post anniversary pics. Here is the link to 15 months post-op.
April 14, 2006
I considered giving up blogging here. I started watching the Global documentary series and was shocked when it came up titled "Vanity Insanity".
The advert for it was;
TORONTO - February 28, 2006) - Global Television presents the premiere of a new 13-part documentary series that digs into the dark, bizarre and, at times, the quirky side of cosmetic surgery, body modification and image exaggeration.
Vanity Insanity premieres Wednesday, March 8 at 8pm ET/PT. Subsequent episodes to be broadcast Wednesdays at 9pm.
What have I got myself into?! I would have never agreed to participate in something called "Vanity Insanity". Vanity is the last reason one should be condering a Roux-En-Y. I am so fearful that this is going to blow up and make things worse for the Bariatric community. I only agreed to do this so that we could shed some postive light on this procedure. I guess I find out in about a month and half. I have to stop worrying because I am just becoming depressed over it all.
I did the Yana 10 km last weekend. My goal was to beat last years time but my "secret goal" was to really beat one hour and twenty minutes (first year was 106 minutes and last year was 90 minutes if I remember right). This year I did it in 75 minutes. I pushed myself and I did it! What a feeling to have your heart pounding so ferociously and know it is a good thing to feel it pounding so hard in your chest. Validation of hard work and not fear of dying. I used to be scared to feel a pounding heart. Afraid that maybe this time it is going to be the heart attck that kills you. Now it is just an indicator that you are playing just hard enough.
Next week is the Times Columnist 10km in Victoria. I am looking forward to seeing some of the WLS folks that I havn't seen in a while ( especially Kris and her wee Budha belly!) at the dinner on Sat night and then the event on Sunday. Hope to be able to put in a decent time. I havn't done this route so as long as I can do it in under 90 minutes I'll be happy!
Bought a new high tech scale for home. Don is now doing some portion control and hoping on the scale daily. He had seen about a ten pound drop. My weight remains about the same. Lucky because depression triggers bad habits that need to be nipped in the bud!
Sunday April 23, 2006
Gas (the fuel that is!) has hit an unbelievable $1.16 per litre. On Saturday I went out and bought a new bike and rode it home to time how long it would take to commute to work. I can now count a half hour of speedy cycling as my daily exercise. Wish that there was a way to avoid helmut hair! Did you guys know that you don't pay the second tax on bikes because they are consisdered vehicles of commute. So I got a break there and on all the accesories I added on.
I have been dealing with a lot of stress lately- physical and mental . I had an utlrasound and internal camera checking out my reproductive system. It is easy to imagine the worse while waiting for results. Luckily it has turned out to be fibroids in my uturus. . That can be remedied with a hysteroectomy. I was going to put this off as long as possible but after talking to my boss am rethinking my decision. The last thing I really want is to undergo sugery again (third time in a year and a half) and have another set of scars but the pain and the profuse menses/ endometriosis is exhausting.
It is very easy with the stress to graze without much thought. I am trying to be more conscience of these bad choices but old habits never die, they just go into remission. Hence the need to hop on that bike and repent. I can hear those athletic shoe motto's playing in my head "Just do It"..."No excuses"....
April 28, 2006
I had a horrendous emotional week and my weight is proving it. I crept up about three pounds.
My 17 year old, grade eleven, first born, love of my life son has moved out and in with his girlfriend ( and her family temporarily until apartment is found) all with the help of someone I used to call my good friend. You know one of those folks you stick beside even when they are making their own mistakes... and you being the good friend you are are just there for them. I am feeling such total betrayal and reverted to hand to mouth actions without even thinking. I will not give her the satisfaction and self destruct. I will let BJ make his mistakes and learn the hard way. In the meantime I am sitting in my newly painted office as I am typing this!
This weekend is the Times Columnist. I am a little worried about my time. I am having increasing pain with the fibroids and actually feel "swollen" in the abdomin. No excuses though. I am going to kick my own ass into gear and do my best. One of the ladies on Dr Amson's site posted a "Walking Calculator". Walking at my weight and pace for an hour and fifiteen minutes burns 650 calories. Not bad... about half or a third of what I consume in a day. Keep in mind with Gastric Bypass you do not "absorb" that is consumed. Small graces.Here is a ink to that calculator to figure your burn rate http://www.caloriesperhour.com/index_burn.
May 1, 2006
I did it and I have the thousand dollar t-shirt to prove it. We arrived on Sat afternoon only to find out that the hotel screwed up our reservation. Luckily we found another room three hotels later. I went out shopping and Don laid down to take care of a headache...Did I mention I took his precious convertible? Leaving the last mall the cars digital computer readout was telling me "disabled anti locks and anti traction". On speaker phone I call Don and start explaining only to interupt with a "holy &^%* I have no brakes ( foot is to the floor) while entering into one of Victoria's busiest intersections. Two rental cars a couple of tows and shop labour later. Geez... And Don said we'd save gas taking his car instead of my SUV.
Sunday morning I was up and anxious before the alarm went off. Consumed the breakfast of champions (OK a cup of hotel coffee) and off to the parliament buildings to meet all my "Victoria Bariatric Peers" for the Times Columnist 10km benefitting Heart and Stroke Foundation. I lost both my father and father in-law to heart disease so this was close to my heart. No pun intended.
It was good to see some and connect with some of the folks who are in different stages of WLS. Always a treat to see Kris and Maureen and Les . I got to meet some new faces too and I am glad I could be an inspiration to some of you. Now I had something to prove.
I am horrible in crowded situations but got through the start of the race and darted in and around crowds until I could maintain a slow and steady jog. I slowed down to a brisk walk a couple of times but would push myself to pick up the pace. There was a young girl (maybe college age) that kept doing the same and I used her to pace myself. If she got too far ahead I would pick up the speed. She was my quiet motivator while all the spectators and bands along the way were the opposite with all the encouragement they were yelling.
With the inclines and the unknown route I just wanted to place in under 1 hour 30. The last KM I looked down at my stop watch and lit a fuse under my butt. My offical time was 1 hour and eight minutes!!!! And get this (this one you won't believe); I liked it! Maybe it is the Aries competitiveness but I want to do it again. I am even going to look into running clinics in town.
As bit of coincidence but in checking my official time online I discovered that a good friend of mine from years ago finished five seconds ahead of me. Thats how in the zone I was. In the zone out of mind I guess.
We had our monthly North Island Support Group Meeting last night and I finally had the opportunity to meet Stacy in person. Stacy is the gal who openly allowed them to film her gastric bypass for the documentary ( to air now in late June or early July?!). She is a beautiful girl (hi Stacy...see yes...I am finally updating!) that I feel a real connection with (we need to do lunch on our own because I'm sure we could yak up a storm!). So here I am spilling the setbacks along with the good.
Many folks who have had this procedure lose to a certain point low point, stay there and then have something called a "bounceback". A bounceback is 5-10 pounds higher where your body seems to be comfortable- a natural weight. My low weight seemed to have been 136- 138. When we bought our new scale it proclaimed me to be 142 lbs. Well now I am weighing in at 143-149 lbs. I am hoping it is the true bounceback and not just on account of a month of emotional turmoil and stress.. I do know that I am sleepwalking and eating then. I need to get a referral to the respirologist and get these parasomnias of mine taken care of. I don't want to sabotage myself in my sleep when I do so well during the day. It is alarming to see the scale go the other way regardless of excuses or not.
I'm having a lot of uturus pain with the fibroids. It is swollen like a four month pregnant ripe uturus. I am having to really reconsider my decision not to see the Ob-Gyn and try to live with it. I do not relish the idea of slicing and dicing. My stomach already resembles a tic tac toe board thanks to c-section, RNY and Gall bladder. Think of all those scars. Throw in a tummy tuck when I win the lottery and my mid section may well hide clues to the Holy Grail within these surgical hieroglyphics.
And yet with all these physical complaints and emotional lows what do I really have to complain about. I am alive and living each day to what I can. One of the ladies in my support group is not. She died two weeks ago while waiting for her sugical turn. So it is with renewed vigor and in the memory of Kathy that I will keep advocating for more OR time, equipment and training for Bariatric surgery in BC. Why should others be denied , delayed or dead.
There is my update Stacy. I will try to stay on top of things and update even if it is just to say hello.
June 5, 2005
I have had a few questions from you in the last while so I will try to answer them to the best of my ability.
1. Could I explain what being full is like post compared to pre-op. Also overeating and how much can I eat now compared to newly post-op.
Before surgery some obese folks can have stomachs stretched to the size of a football. It takes a lot of food to fill one of those. The nerves that sends full messages to our brain are located at the top of our stomachs. Our new pouches are created at the top of our old stomachs where there is not a lot of stretch and where the nerves can scream "stop your full"! That is where I have my problems. I am a "wolfer" as far as eating. One of the rules is to slow down and chew , chew, chew. This also gives those nerves time to transmit and light up that no vacancy sign before your are holding your belly and groaning in discomfort ( sound like I may no a thing or two in the ohhh I ate too much dept.).
As a brand new post op I was eating maybe a 1/4- 1/2 of a cup of masticated food. 16 months post -op volume if I were putting it in terms that you could relate to would be if trying to polish off a Subway 6 inch sandwich- i could probabably eat 1/2 comfortably. If I am yackking and not paying attention then I will eat 2/3 grab my belly and do the "woe is me" routine!
2. What suppliments do you have to take post-op?
In a gastric bypass, the part of the intestine where many minerals and vitamins are most easily absorbed is bypassed. Because of this, you become succeptible to deficiency in iron, calcium, magnesium, or vitamins. This can lead to long-term problems, such as osteoporosis.
. What I should be taking on a daily basis is sublingual B-12. Sublingual because the pills would normally be absorbed via the stomach intrinsic factor. There are actually mint (blech) flavoured dissolving B-12 strips put out by Jamieson. Sublingual B-12 melts under your tongue and speeds the essential B nutrients directly into your bloodstream where they immediately begin to help your body. B-12 is essential for energy and also helps you with sleep in the long run.
In addition, the malabsorption issue resulting from gastric bypass presents another problem. Since the bowel does not readily absorb calcium and the stomach is drastically shortened there is limited opportunity for the calcium to be absorbed in the body. Chewable supplements taken twice daily will more rapidly dissolve and assimilate into the body than hard pills. They should be 500 milligrams each; the body cannot absorb more than 500 milligrams at a time. The best supplements are calcium citrate and calcium carbonate : Exercise and sunshine will also help with the assimilation of calcium into our bodies too. See you're just not going to get to blow away exercise. No excuses!
Iron deficiency (especially in us ladies still being visited by our "friend"...do they still say that?!) also can be a problem in WLS patients because iron is usually absorbed in the duodenum. That is why we eat a high protein diet. High protein foods are usually iron rich too. It is important to not take your calcium and iron at the same time as these two elements will cancel out each others effectiveness. Try to take them 3-4 hours apart at least.
Some WLS-ers religiously do the protein shake thing. I was one of those silly people who tried them all pre-op, loved them and used them. As soon as I had my roux-enY I could not stomach the taste, the texture or the flavours. The ones that I did like, I dumped on. I have derived all of my protein needs from everyday foods and been fortunate that all of my blood work comes back at exceptional levels (excepting the problems i have with fibriods right now I have dips in my iron and try to rectify that by taking extra.)
Early post -op days I was taking a childrens chewable (sugar free) vitamins. I have heard that the units are not enough so have switch to an adult one a day (when I remember to take it...bad Diana). I also bought liquid clacium and iron in the beginning thinking I would have problems with ingesting pills. The liquis sucked! I was better off with the pills and did not get any of these stuck exiting my pouch.
Blood work should be taken every three to 6 months to assure that all levels are where they should be and to nip any defeciencies in the bud.
3 What medicines should not be taken as a post-op?
I found this list through obesity.com and it is the one I go by
Drugs to Avoid A very important reminder ... Please do not take "Any" Anti-inflammatory drugs.
Drugs commonly used for the treatment of arthritis, bursitis, tendonitis, and for many back problems will cause irritation to your stomach lining. This could develop into a bleeding ulcer.
Be sure to read for sugar on cough formulas. There are companies out there that are making sugar free versions.
There I hope that answered a few questions. I will try to do that every once in a while as the emails come in.
June18, 2006
Happy Fathers Day ! Happy to see my weight come down to satisfactory 143 today. That is my target number to maintain. I know my original goal was 150 but this gives me some buffer pounds under that.
So some of you have questioned whether alcohol is OK after bypass. I left it for a few months before even testing those waters. I wanted to make sure I was fully healed.
Now what I tell people when this subject comes up is that after two or three sips I am legally impaired. I can 20 minutes later feel totally sober. I cannot without a doubt state that I am sober in that timeframe without actually blowing a breathalyzer. I would really like to try that out and find out without the drinking and driving road block aspect of it- you know a controlled enviroment.
So why the legal impairment after a couple of sips? Well when 95% of your stomach is bypasses alcohol passes directly from the stomach pouch, usually without restriction ( no valve on the bottom anymore), into the second portion of the gut, known as the jejunum. The jejunum has a rather large surface area which allows for rapid absorption of the alcohol. Also take into consideration that you are cnosuming way fewer calories and your total body weight is much smaller. I did read a report sometime ago that there have been instances of comas and brain damage because of how alcohol affects ketosis ( you Atkins and South beach dieters should recognize that term). Ketones are used by tissues including the brain for fuel and for converting sugars and....wait this is all getting too technical. For intensive purposes alcohol is bad for some people. The groundwork is there to trade one addiction for another and face it calories , calories , calories. I fool myself into believing that mixing the rye with a diet pepsi is not caloric because hey...it's diet. But the hard alcohols have 100-125 calories, wine roughly 75 and a glass of beer about 150. Iamgine what one of those Paralyzers must be when you facfactor in milk , two alcohols and pop. So what you have to ask is "is it all worth the caloric intake?". Me...well I happen to enjoy a couple of drinks on occasion. I am aware of when I am impaired that my brain goes on vacation and I need not to go on a junk food hunt and make things worse. Oh yeah and make a deal with the devil on your shoulder to work off those extra calories tommorow. Hangovers! Sometimes for me. There are others that have told me that they never suffer this affliction anymore. Damn the luck of some people!
June19, 2006
Hi! For those of you who have been asking. Vanity Insanity (the gastric bypass episode with Stacy , Dr A and myself ) is airing on Wednesday June 28th. Check your Global TV listings (Channel 11 for those in the Valley). It should run at 9pm.
Paige, my 8 year old, took these last night. Thought I'd share her eye for photography despite the bright light
June 23, 2005
Bought myself a pair of those whatcha call ems... death on wheels...oh yeah...rollerblades ...that's it. Pretty pink ones. Hopefully pretty enough to motivate myself to put them on once in a while. My son just dropped his head and shook his head in denial when he saw my purchase. "Oh Mom...no Mom!"
Its been a few years since I have strapped death to my ankles. When my 8 year daughter gauged how wobbly my first ride was going to be she whipped off her knee pads because she figured I would need them more. She was darn near right. Well in all actuality I weebled, I wobbled but I didn't fall down. This sport requires use of a whole different set of muscles which apparently on me have not seen the light of day since birth. Can't wait for tomorrow. Paige thinks that I am OK enough to strap death onto my ankles in public at the Airpark circuit. Nothing like a little public humiliation to firm up that mother/daughter Sunday morning bonding thing. Next week I think I'll strap death onto my ankles and tie a dog or two to me...just for fun!
July 2, 2006
There is nothing that scares women worst. No, not spiders or heaven forbid anything that had been growing under our childrens bed. No what we fear most is the dreaded bathing suit fitting. It is bad enough getting buff naked in the dark but to subject us women to a 360 degree mirror and stage lighting and then try to find a small piece of material that will somehow camoflauge those flaws. Trauma at its best!
It was those flaws of mine requiring camoflauge that lured me into the Bay swimwear department. I probably could have navigated my way out fairly quickly but one of those wiley salesgirl was quick to point out 30% off and an extra 10% if you charge. OK I'm past the sticker shock now. I try on the first bikini...yes you read right-bikini (Now you understand the tthe use of the noun- "trauma". I try on the first one. A word of advise to those of you to braving those busy fitting rooms- do not have your eight year old accompany you . Suit number one produced this one liner from the precious daughter "Mom is your skin suppose to squish like that in there?". By now I am bribing Paige just to be quiet and sit by the fitting room entrance.. I try on suit number four and it does not make me cry. It doesn't provide the camoflauge that a suit of armour would but it is going to allow me to tan over some of these scars and see if I can get then to blend a bit. Hmmm OK how does one swim in one of these bikini contraptions without having a "wardrobe malfunction?". It may make me cry yet!
July 14, 2006
It is Dr Amsons fourth annual picnic at Rathtrevor Beach in Parkesville tommorow. We are heading out today to camp with a bunch of the posse at Parry's RV.
Wow I can't believe how the years have flown by. I am so looking forward to trying to recognize people. Thank goodness for name tags or we would never recocognize each other after some of the drastic weight loss among us.. I will post an update on the event when we return!
July 17, 2006
I am 20 years too old to party like a 20 year old. I am back but could use a day or two of rest to recoup from the weekend. Awesome, awesome time camping with the Post-Op Posse. Man, are our hubby's good sports...instigaters at times but good guys.
Post-Op Posse
Susan, Lisa, Karma, Diana, Kris (8mthpregnant w/Jacob), Maureen, Kareena Nadine and Paige with Allora in front.
I had a fabulous time at the picnic. I remember one year feeling so totally detached. Yeesh, not anymore. I had so many people to try to meet this year. This blog has brought so many of us together and now I had the opportunity to put faces and names together. All kindered spirits, an extended family. How gratifying to me to type out my story here and then have the chance to meet some of you who follow in my footsteps and understand where I have been. The posse and I were discussing the importance of having post-ops to look to; who our mentors were and how they can drop off the radar so quickly. Be prepared to become one of the Senior Classmen and spread your stories, your wisdom and your warnings.
My proposal to hold a Mt Washington WLS retreat generated so much interest that Maureen (light bulbs going off over her head) proposed that we begin planning a 2 day WLS convention to coincide with next years picnic. She approached Dr Amson with the idea and he presuaded her to consider holding it in May. He is the current president of the BC Surgical Society and they are holding court next May and Dr A would like the platform to be Bariatrics. He would like to draw a national audience. We are talking sposorships, venues, speakers and grants. All of this to be arranged by say... October. Total excitement and anticipation (tinged with the fear of failure).
From North Island WLS
Jenn, Nicole, Stacy and myself
A post-op portrait
Dr Amson on his knee in the front
-myself on his right.
Pre and Post-Ops 2006
Dr A sitting in blue .The infamous Val ( no longer reception) sitting to my right.
Only at a Bariatrics picnic will you find people hoisting up their shirts to compare surgical scars and loose skin. This is where the husbands start rolling their eyes. They are used to us and our lack of modesty. Our kids are more open and accepting then most kids. They have grown up attending these picnics. They see past peoples weight. They don't stare. Fat is not abnormal in their world. They accept us. I hope that they grow up to have the same tolerance for all types of people.
Wow have I ever taken a tangent here. What I really came to say was that I had such an awesome weekend. Thanks posse for making me laugh and cry. I can't wait till next year to do it all again.
Oh and for all those who have been asking. The epsisode of Vanity Insanity has not aired. There is only one left and it is suppose to air this Wednesday. Yeah...I know...I've said that before!
Note to myself here to create a page to list post-op friendly food lists. I have had many enquiries for this. Just need time.
Oh and a practicality tip to all of you out there..... bikini's are not for jumping off cliffs into rivers..Enough said.
July 26, 2006
Waiting for Vanity Insanity Episode 11 was like waiting to have a baby.. You know its going to happen eventually. People keep asking how close you are getting and you don't know if you are going to end up with a ugly babyso maybe its best just to keep it inside.
At nine pm I received a call from Laura the producer apologizing for episodes aired out of sequence. She had called to assure me it was airing.
Maura from Toronto posted on the message boards that she had watched it ahead of us and proclaimed it to be "Eloquent, empowering, endearing, and insightful --" and said "I'm not sure how well such a "balanced" approach
fit with the vibe the program usually generates --"
Knowing that Mama Maura approved was a big relief and I sat back without reservation to watch it. The whole episode was really of a different tone and I REALLY enjoyed the other segments which included Tattoos and their removals, Steroid use in teenagers and the growing popularity in men "spa-ing".
Thank you Barry and Laura from Insight Films for a beautiful "baby". They are alread y filming season two because season one was well received with audiences over half a million in an episode. I wish them well.
In closing I would be remiss if I didn't thank both Dr Amson and Stacy (w/family) for both going blindly into this with me. And to all of you out there reading this...don't give up. I have posted this thouth before;
Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: you don't give up
July 30, 2006
I was very open with my children about my WLS. When I started out Paige only understood that I was going to be "cut open to be skinny like her". Now at 8 she questions what goes into my mouth as snacks. "Should you really be having that ? Does it have sugar? Are you gonna get sick on that?" She has become the damn Snack Nazi.
I think we owe it to our children to be honest about what WLS means to our bodies , our eating and what changes will occur. Paige has become an avid label reader. She looks for protein, fiber and sugars and even knows about natural sugars as opposed to refine sugars. She has always been a white bread fiend even when we switched to whole grains years ago. Now she chooses to have Dempsters Smart Bread which looks like white but has "the goodness of whole grains." She knows that whole wheat is not the same as whole grain. I am pretty proud. She still is a kid though and kids will be kids in a candy store.
Don was not very open with me that he had an appointment with a cardiologist (OK...he plain avoided telling me). Apparently when I had him debarked (toncills) there were some discrepancies on his EKG. Turns out to be "minor". His cholesterols are all bad, as were his weight and high blood pressure . Alarms going off to his his doctors. When he went in for his surgery he was 280+. He is now into the mid 260's. He has been told to follow the South Beach Diet so he has bought the books from me to read "Nice Guy". Well now the "Snack Nazi" is at it twofold- "Mommy can Daddy have that?"
I have been out trying to jog and the last couple of times the knees have been giving me trouble. I am hoping that the years of extra weight have not permanently damaged them. I will keep at it and hopefully it will pass. Time to work on a different set of muscles so...
Yesterday we borrowed a canoe and Don, Paige and I went onto the lake. Smooth when we started out but by the time we paddled in there were caps on the water. I think my Dad was up there playing some tricks on me. It never failed to amuse him when that happened to him and I on our father/daughter trips. He would love to stress me out with the prospect that we were going to tip. Paddling....now there is a way to work on that under the arm turkey waddle. Certainly feel it today.
I am 2 days into my vacation. While most people view it as a time to kick back and rest I am feeling guilty if I am not on the move doing something, going somewhere or at least planning something. Where or where is my off switch?
Aug 29, 2006
Don, Paige and I did Vancouver this weekend. The aquarium, the malls and the PNE. My energy is so boundless that it gets frusterating when the family wants to give up. I'll be sorry when Paige has longer legs than me
Don is doing awesome on his eating plan (loosly based on South Beach). He is down 30 pounds off of his 6 foot 2 frame. He is into the 250's. We are actually eating healthier than we were before even with my bariatric restrictions. We are both reading labels like crazy, making low carb discoveries and navigating restaraunts with their dangerous menus. Don was "terrible " for bringing home desserts and treats. And I was terrible about grazing on them. It is just easier not having them around. My weight hovers about the same. I have "fat days" although I know the worst of what is around my middle is saggy skin. This confirmed by my OBGYN who gabbed a handful and asked if I were contemplating a tummy tuck. Wish he could do it when he takes care of the bladder lift (wahhooo) and hysteroectomy but alas he is a OB not a miracle maker!
Aug 30, 2006
Apologies to many of you whom have become "keyboard pals" through this blog. I have had a glitch in my address book and have lost eamil address'. Please feel free to email so I can add you back in.
This girl who is accustomed to huge surgical wating lists was blown away with a feather when I got a call from the hospital booking dept and was moved up from 5 months away to one week from today. So here I am a little panicked worrying about back to school and getting a medical UI claim going. I am so looking forward to putting this pain behind meand there won't be any new scars to show as this is being done vaginally so I think I will be back at work tickity-boo.
Sept 11, 2006
This the fifth anniversary of 9/11 I sit here in realization that in those five years our world has completely changed and that we will never have the luxury of being complacent or naive again. We can continue preaching peace but the hatred is so palitable that it is lost in translation.There doesn't seem to be a middle ground. Our children will grow up differently. More vigilent. More skeptical. How sad.
I had my surgery on the 6th. Talked my doctor into springing me on the 8th. I was up and about and caring for my other 3 roomies before their cathetors were removed. It's the Aries in me. Competative. Stubborn. The last statement puts me where I am today. I take one step forward, two back by biting off more than I am permitted to chew. I am in more pain now then when I came out of surgery. I am determined to be back at work before the prescribed 6 weeks and that has me doing stupid stuff and paying the consequences. But thank you thank you thank you for my new and improved bladder! Amazing difference already. It is a nasty thing what a big baby and obesity can do to a bladder. I am not sorry to see the uturus go. The trick now is to get my iron levels back up into the normal range as I went into surgery below par and came out further behind. So here I sit with 5 more weeks of convelesence and wonder what the hell am I going to do with all this time!?
Sept 25, 2006
I guess I am in a "funny" mood. Perhaps it is just my first post operative PMS minus the actual cycle. When I came home from the hospital I was up about 12 pounds ( I realize a lot of that is water). I am still about three pounds away from goal. It is frusterating not to be able to do anything physically to work these off. I want to run or bike or something. I have been doing a lot of cooking, baking and preserving during my convelecence. I can see if I were a full time homemaker where it could be dangerous to my weight maintenenance.
As I get ready for tonights local support group meetings to resume I am struck with thoughts/hopes of someone else taking the lead. Like I said I am in a "mood". I see my two year annivarsary approaching in a couple of months and have thoughts of not wanting my life to be defined by WLS anymore. "My post-op mentors" have all gone that route already. I used to check BC-WLS and Dr Amsons online boards a couple of times a day. Since my surgery I have been there twice. Sometimes I just get tired of the same story (is that callous of me?). I have new people calling me up as Dr Amson requires them to join a support group. Most of them make the contact phone call and never show up for the meetings ( perhaps I will start faxing attendance sheets to Dr Amsons office). When they call we usually talk about what Dr Amsons expectations are of a pre-op. Lately I have heard a lot of " I can't to that..." "He must be crazy to think that....". What I get from some of these folks is that this surgery is their right whether they contribute or not. What they are not taking into effect is if you are not motivated as a pre-op you will not all of a sudden be motivated as a post-op . This surgery is not failure free ( take a look at all the people in line to have revisions). The weight loss will stall or not come off beyond a certain point unless you kick start that metabolism. Many of my peers were go getters along with me. I wanted to be a perfect candidate. We worked at it instead of expecting it to be served to us on a platter. Instead of hearing "I can't do that" I wish I would hear a little more "Well maybe if I just started off doing this..I can work up to that". Afterall attitude is everything. I might be more motivated to stay if there was just a little more positive vibe. Well now I just need to work on this crabby mood I am in!
ps for those of you following Don's weight loss he is down from (if i recall right) about a 285 start to 244 lbs. He is looking great and feeling even better! No CPAP machine to sleep (goodbye Darth Vador) and wearing a couple of pants sizes smaller. Go team Johnson!
Oct 3, 2006
Well I have been forced into a proper recuperation as I have had the flu for the past three days. I mean it came on like BANG. I have been unable to eat for the last couple of days and fluids go right through me (sorry TMI !) On the plus side I had my radio on yesterday morning too weak to leave bed. At the prompting of the DJ I was the third caller in, answered three skill testing questions (OK got 2 out of 3 right) and won two tickets for the Black Eye Peas/ Rihanna concert this Sat in Victoria. I was elevated to "coolest Mom " status by asking Paige to join me ( Black Eye Peas mean nothing but a side dish to Don!). I think this will be the first time at fitting my butt into stadium chair seating since The Disney Princess show the week after my fathers passing the year before my surgery. These plans all hinge on me getting over this bug or Don is going to get a crash course in Hip Hop/Reggae/Rap.
Friday Oct 13, 2006 YIKES
After myexperience last week I cannot express enough the importance of cooking sanitation, raw foods and washing your veggies.
I have been really sick on one other occasion but this time I was bed ridden sick for 9 days with extreme diahhrea, heaves, headaches and muscle cramping. When my lab results came back the doctor was stunned at the high levels of campypylobactor bacteria in my intestines.In a normal person the bacteria will run its course. As it is resistant in my system and it doesn't seem to be dying I am on horse pill antibiotics .This bacteria usually originates from under cooked poulty or kitchen utenils/cutting boards not properly sanitized. As it is, the night before I got sick I ate at a Nanaimo restaraunt. I had a salad topped with chicken. With our our modified systems we do not produce enough stomach acid to combat "bad" bacterias. I am now a fan of probiotics (good bacteria) and am drinking a juice I found at Superstore in the dairy section. The extra calories of fruit juice once a day is worth the peace of mind for me.
So in recap;
Wash all your veggies well especially sprouts as they are culprits
Cook your meats well ( this makes me cry as I much prefer a blue streak)
Switch knives and cutting boards or sanitize well after cutting any meats
Eating in restaurants cannot be avoided just hope that the staff is practicing Food Safe. Think of it as Roulette!
If you become sick and after a couple of days you are the only one sick in your family go to your doctor express concern about our different digestive systems and have your blood and stool tested. Better safe then sorry.
This afternoon I received a call from the VI Health Authority. When my lab results went through a lot of red flags went up and they were notified. The caller felt I should still be in quarantine because I am still contagious if I am not paticularily careful with my hands and contact.. They want to retest me after I am fininshed this round of antibiotics. Yikes. Scary. And me back to work on Monday.
And by the way The Black Eyer Peas rocked. Sick or not!
Novemebr 6th , 2006
Sorry no update. Have been really busy with Halloween and back to work. Here is a link to our Halloween celebration
New Years Day 2007
Thank you for all the emails enquiring whether I have fallen off of the face of the earth. To be frank Christmas is just getting more and more stressful and I feel like I have fallen into a bit of a funk if not a slide back into depression. It could just be a seasonal disorder too. I am just too stretched in every direction and need to prioritize. So no...being thinner does not always mean that life is sunshine and roses. I have not even signed into Dr Amsons site nor BC WLS in weeks and weeks. I am sure that I have missed some big news for some and for that I am failing in the support hierarchy.
We were going to go to Victoria and ring it in with Kris and Maureen and the gang but opted on staying home. I was wishy washy right to the end. We instead took Paige up to the Ozone tubing run for New Years Eve and did not even get into the wine when we got home. Feeling the effects of the fresh mountain air put us all asleep before midnight and we were awakened with well wishers calls. My New Years gift to myself is a hangover free head.
Paige and I were going to do the polar bear swim today but with the blusterly winds and the rain blowing sideways it is hard to motivate yourself into a bathing suit all for the promise of a warm beverage after the hypothemia subsides.
Perhaps it is just about time to start planning a trip. Don and I have always wanted to go to Paradise Island in the Caribbean...now that would cure my depression!
Happy New Year to you all. I hope you find health and a feeling of contentment in 2007.
January 28, 2007
Funny how life works. Don and I went on a romantic escape to Vancouver a couple of weeks ago. On the sunny Sunday morning the world seemed perfectly aligned and I had the audacity to utter with a bobble-head smile on my face" Life is so right. I actually think I am exiting this depression". That being said we finished the day with some shopping. Now in full shopping mode- wahoo how can this day get any better?! Well how fast did that bobble headed smile disppear when returning to my SUV we found it broken into and all our luggage and purchases gone. Talk about feeling violated. Whoosh right back into depression mode I go. Is it my karma or something?!
Blistfully sunny yesterday morning Paige and I hit the track for a run before the thaw. The cold burned the throat and lungs and my knees were screaming from hard impact. Don and I went out right after and bought new runners to be broke in well before the TC 10KM in Victoria. What a difference on the knees a good pair of shoes can make. Now if they could only reach around and kick me in the ass , out the door in a full run. I have found some online fitness classes that look intesting . I may sign up for a few. The link is http://www.demandfitness.com/
I have been struggling with eating. Grazing unwittingly on crap. I have bought some Hoodia strips to melt on the tongue. Hoodia is a cactus derivitive that orginates in Africa used for centuries by bushmen. The claim is that the active ingredient can "fool " your brain into thinking that you are full. Some need to remember to drink too. Now whether there is enough active hoodia in these strips remain to be seen. At this point it could just be the result of self persuasion.
I have been dumping on everything that I eat lately. I said to Don I can't believe that I would even want to eat when I get the growlies but food is a powerful force and deep down inside I am still a lover of food. I am going to look into a fruit and veggie based diet for a while to try to get a thumb on all the dumping . Suppliments will have to help make up for anything else lacking in the diet. I just feel my system needs a break.
Well in sitting here and rambling I am putting off getting dressed for a jog. No excuses. Zoe my Bassett Hound is giving me the eye and my new shoes are beckoning me. TTYL
Januaury 29, 2007
We had our North Island WLS meeting tonight. I am twinged with guilt for even thinking about giving up my group. When I get there I realize how much I really care about each and every one of my team. I root for them all and genuinely want them all to have their day. Bad Diana for even thinking of abandoning this family! There were eight of us tonight plus a couple of support angels. We even had our first male member. Refreshing to hear another perspective of the familiar heartaches. Next month we are going to invite along spouses and support people to answer any of their questions and let them network.
Don and I are officially pre-registered for the Times Columinst 10 Km on April 29, 2006. Hotel is booked. Three months to get my butt back into fit mode. Hmmm I 'll get right on that after this weekends shin splints heal up!
February 02/07
I have been examining my thought processes lately and trying to examine how I may be sabotaging my succeses'. The unconscious night/sleep eating is of course something I definelty need to get a handle on. To do that I thought I would concentrate on my daytime bad habits first.
How many times have I just sat down and started a snack because it was time for one. After a couple of hours at work I take a 9 am coffee.Often I'll just assume that I should be hungry by then and snack on something with my coffee. Habit or compulsive action not actual hunger. I guess the way to test this would be to delay eating at the habitual time and wait to see if I actually physically "feel" hunger.
Experts say to curb mindless shovelling of meals avoid sitting in front of the TV. Sit at the table with your family. How easy is it to plop into a big cushy chair and fall into that hypnotic of hand to mouth that only ends when you feel discomfort. So if I am going to snack I need to take that snack and sit at the table. Be aware of when I am eating and how much. I am not going to stay too long at that table if my snack is taking me away from something else.
I found the following article on recognizing hunger
The first step in recognizing hunger signals and, thus, eating intuitively, is to be "present in the moment". This is difficult to do in our current society where we are constantly looking to the next task even before finishing the prior one. However, taking the time to slow down and "check in" with yourself will provide you with a multitude of health benefits. Realize that it is normal for hunger to occur 3 to 5 hours after eating. Start familiarizing yourself with the different levels of hunger and the individual signals that your body relays to you at various stages. Initiate this process by listening! Check in with your body throughout the day and "rate" your hunger. A common way to rate hunger is on a scale of one to ten with one equivalent to a state of starving and ten being equivalent to a state of extreme fullness or being overstuffed.
Ideally, you would want to initiate a meal when you are in a state of hunger but not completely famished (a scale rating of about three), and finish a meal when you are in a state of fullness but not completely stuffed (a scale rating of approximately six).
0 = Starving, famished, headache
3 = Need to eat something, hunger pangs
5 = Comfortable, lightness about you
6 = Somewhat full, satisfied and content
8 = Overfull, need to loosen clothing, must sit for awhile
10 = Nauseated, vow to never eat this much again
As it takes a while for the signal of stomach fullness to reach the satiety centers in the brain, relaying the fact that you should stop eating, it is a good idea to stop eating before you feel very full. In other words, if you stop eating at a rating of about six, you will ultimately end up at a fullness rating of about seven shortly following the meal. This is especially true if you tend to eat fast. Not a good idea anyway!
It may be helpful, especially in the beginning, to associate numbers on the scale with situations in the past. For instance, if you have ever fasted for a religious occasion, try to remember how it felt to be truly hungry and correlate this empty, rumbling feeling in your stomach with a rating of one. On the opposite end of the spectrum, recall a time when you've really overeaten, maybe a Thanksgiving dinner, and correlate a number ten with the feelings of overeating. Likewise, remember a time when you thoroughly enjoyed a fantastic meal and were able to stop eating when you had met your hunger needs and no more. Remember how comfortable and satisfied you felt and mesh this memory with what a number 6 on the scale feels like.
Although individual differences exist, the list below can provide some common hunger symptoms:
Feeling of emptiness in stomach
Gurgling, rumbling or growling in stomach
Dizziness, faintness or light-headedness
Headache
Irritability, easily agitated
Lack of concentration
Nausea
After awhile you will be able to identify patterns in your hunger symptoms and levels and correlate them with how often and how much you've eaten at your last meal. It may take some time for you to get comfortable with identifying normal levels of hunger and to recognize the pattern of eating that is best suited to you individually (small, light, more frequent meals vs. 3 larger meals, etc). Be patient with yourself and your body. Take the time to listen and care for yourself and to get back in tune with your body. It's worth it!
February 10, 2007
I'm so much of a pessimist that I waste the small joys waiting for the hammer to drop.
Saturday morning finds me finally getting an appointment with a hair stylist who is always booked up. Walked out of there actually pleased with the cut. Got home and managed to score good tickets for the Gwen Stefani concert in June. Que the cheering eight year old daughter!
I decided that I wanted to rent movies but realizing that I would become a couch potatoe there after decided to challenge myself. I gave myself half an hour to go the 5.1 km to the video store (where Don would pick me up). I figured given the half hour head start Don might catch me at about the 4 km mark. Well I made it to the store and had to call Don and ask him where he was. It was a lot of alternating jogging and power walking but I think I am starting to build up a little endurance again. I always feel so good after getting out there and doing it I just wish it was easier to motivate myself to get out there in the first place.
Well I just finshed soaking the muscles. Time to go and enjoy those movies. Hmmm I hope Sunday goes my way!
February 24, 2007
Those of you following my blog all along know that I have struggled with broken sleep and nocturnal eating for years. What happens is I fall into that first stage of sleep (within the first hour and boom!.. legs out of bed I go foraging in the kitchen-sometimes conscious-sometimes not. This can happen several times a night. During the day I am making good choices-at night I am sabotaging. There is such guilt involved. Self berating. How can I blow my WLS. Why can't I stop myself when I know what the results can be?! I found this article in Newsweek and am relieved to see that I am not alone. I am going to address this with my PCP as soon as I can
Doughnuts in the Dark
New treatments offer hope for night eating disorders
By Anne Underwood
Newsweek
April 5 issue - Shelly's Snack Shop was the name that Brian Egemo of Badger, Iowa, applied to his wife's side of the bed. In 1994 Shelly, who had been a sleepwalker as a child, began sleepwalking again. But this time, her nightly rambles took her to the kitchen for cookies, candy and potato chips, which she would bring back to bed and devour while still asleep. "In the morning, there would be frosting in my hair and M&M's stuck to my husband's back," she says. Worse yet, she woke up feeling exhausted and sick from all the junk food. After years of this "sleep eating," her nerves were so jangled that she became unglued at the slightest upset. "Someone would knock over the salt shaker and I'd go into orbit," she says. It wasn't until 2001 that Egemo, now 37, found a doctor who could tell her what her problem was and how to treat it.
Egemo's condition is called sleep-related eating disorder (SRED), and it's one of two night eating problems that doctors are just beginning to take seriously. The other is night eating syndrome (NES), in which patients wake multiple times during the night and are unable to fall asleep again unless they eat something. Although the two differ in some important ways—most notably, whether the person is conscious or not—they share many similarities. Both are hybrids of sleep and eating disorders. And both take over the lives of patients, destroying good nutrition, instilling deep shame and often causing depression and weight gain. According to psychiatrist John Winkelman of Harvard Medical School, the two conditions may affect 1 percent of the population—nearly 3 million Americans. "People who suffer from this think they're alone," says Dr. Albert Stunkard of the University of Pennsylvania Weight and Eating Disorders Program, who identified both NES and binge eating in the 1950s. "They need to know that it's a real disorder and there are treatments." With psychologist Kelly Allison, Stunkard has written a book called "Overcoming Night Eating Syndrome," due out in early May.
The consequences of night eating disorders are profound. In addition to sabotaging good-quality sleep, both conditions can seriously undermine attempts to maintain a well-balanced diet. People with SRED occasionally try to eat such bizarre concoctions as buttered cigarettes or smoothies of egg shells, coffee grounds and soda. But the real problem is that in the middle of the night, no one gets up and fixes healthful salads, fish or vegetables. Instead, people reach for food that's ready to eat—most often, junk food. "It sets up a vicious cycle, where they feel bloated so they don't want to eat during the day," says Dr. Carlos Schenck of the Minnesota Regional Sleep Disorders Center, who identified SRED in 1993. Not surprisingly, night eating often contributes to weight gain. Stunkard has found NES in 6 to 7 percent of people in weight-loss programs and up to 28 percent of those seeking gastric-bypass surgery.
Frustrated patients say their behavior seems totally beyond their control. "I wasn't even hungry," says pediatrician Edward Rosof, 58, of Cherry Hill, N.J., who suffered from NES for 35 years. "It was a craving, like being an alcoholic. Every night I promised myself it was the last time." But even when he tried to resist the impulse, he'd lose the battle after 10 or 15 minutes because he feared that he wouldn't get back to sleep. Other desperate patients have asked spouses to put locks on the refrigerator or even lock the bedroom door at night.
At last, new treatments are helping them unlock those doors. In a pilot study, Stunkard and psychiatrist John O'Reardon have discovered that the antidepressant Zoloft may help NES patients like Rosof, who's dropped 40 pounds since he started taking it a year ago. And Schenck and Winkelman have found two drug cocktails that appear to help 70 percent of SRED patients. Within two weeks of starting one of them, Shelly Egemo was feeling better. Her good humor is back. Best of all, Shelly's Snack Shop is out of business.
Between my friend Judy and Oprah I have been turned onto "The Secret"
Such a basic concept involving the laws of attraction but is taking some work to impliment because I have lived so negatively for so long. I am making baby steps toward change. Postive change!
On a positive note- my team of Bantam girl bowlers (including Paige) that I coach won Silver Medals at the Island Zones last weekend competing aginst girls a couple of years older than themselves. I was profoundly proud as a coach and mother and now mother and daughter have a matching set of Silver medals (hmmm how would they look as earrings?...). Next year it will be the gold and off to Provincials. Of this I'm sure.
March 03/07
I don't know if it is because of the Zoloft or because I really want it to work but I have had three nights of uninterupted sleep. No walking. No eating. Hopefully the doors on Dian's snack shack is closing.
March 07/07
8 full nights of sleep. Only experienced one night that I wandered out to the kitchen but I managed to stop myself. My weight that had crept up is now heading in the right direction.
Thought I would share what motivates me to run while listening to my IPOD. Gets me breaking a good sweat
Beautiful Day - U2
Vertigo-U2
Going Under-Evanescence
Pump It- Black Eye Peas
You outta Know- Alanis Morissette
Fergalicious- Fergie
Are you gonna be my girl- Jet
Family Affair- Mary J Blige
Vertigo- U2
Kryptonite- 3 Doors Down
Overhaulin Theme (I am Gasoline)
Elavation- U2
Don't ya wish your girlfriend.. Pussycat dolls
Somebody Told Me (Mylo Remix)- Killers
Pink- Don't Let Me Get Me
Ray of Light- Madonna
Mr Brightside- The Killers
Fighter- Christina Aguillera
Toxic- Britney Spears
Hollerback Girl- Gwen Stefani
Cake-The Distance
Freedom 90- George Michael
Pump It Up- BLack Cherry
Crazy In Love- Beyonce f JayZ
Bring Me to Life- Evanescence
= 1.6 hours
March 21 , 2007
Theresa thank you for the early b-day greetings....and for reminding me I'm turning 41! I feel like I missed so much of my thirties to feeling poorly. I just wish that life didn't seem so excelerated all the time. Theresa I hope you like that workout mix. Great motivational beat. Gets my legs pumping a little harder. Thank you for all those pre-op walks. I look forward to the day when we can walk and talk again.
I am hitting the treadmilll for a twenty minute run each day.Just enough to get a good sweat on. I am distressed because my knee keeps locking, cracking almost like there is no lubrication between the joints. I have the YANA 10K next Saturday so that should be the real test. I guess I will have to be a very good girt the night before for my birthday or I will be hurting in more ways than one! Well I am procastinating. It is windy and rainy and I need to get out and run. So off I go!
ps My Bantam girl bowler did awesome in the tournament in Nanaimo. They were competing against girls two years older than them and took the silver medal. I am mighty proud.
March 30, 2007
Had an awesome Friday birthday despite having to work. Spoiled I am! Don bought me the watch I was drooling for and a new monitor for my PC Paige gave me a a clingy dress with polka dots that I have been hummings over everytime I peruse Winners. Size 6 -Hello...happy with that number. Mom bought me the pink trimmed Guess purse that matches my pink cell phone (yes I am hopelessly pathetic sometimes). She also sneakily ordered my custom beaded med bracelet
For those wondering what to have engraved on the back mine is four lines:
Gastric Bypass RNY
NG w/ Scope only (nasogastric tube that is)
No NSAIDS. Dr Amson (no anti infflammitories)
And Dons name and cell
I loved the cards and flowers I received from friends. It brightens ones day immensly. Don and I escaped to a little authentic Mexican restraunt for dinner for two and ate healthy organic.OK except for maybe the fresh squeezed pear margarita Had to play the role of good girl because I am set to get up and do the YANA 10 KM tomorrow. It is really clear tonight so this year promises to be a lot more cooperative weather wise. Let you know how that goes tomorrow!
March 31, 2007
Well I made it. It may take more than me to pull my butt out of this chair after I finish typing this but...
I was nevous going into this because I didn't want to end up with a full fledge bummed knee before the TC 10Km in April. I was making excuses in my head before I had even started the event. I didn't think on the last lap that I was going to be able to catch my Victoria time last year but I somehow mustered up the gumption and managed to beat last years time by a full minute. I am pretty pleased with that since I was at my low weight last year and am sitting about 151 right now. On top of besting my time I did an extra 3 km because I lapped everyone and decided to slow down and socialize for an extra one. All that fresh air and sunshine and now I can't stop yawning. Should go an apply some moisturizer to my wind burn. Now where is Don to pull me out of this chair?!
April 29, 2007
Well Kris gave me Ka ka for not updating in a while so I guess I should play catch up.
Three of my NIWLS ladies have had their surgeries within a couple of weeks of each other. They are all doing awesome. One more has her date fast approaching. I am sooo happy for all of them.
Dr Amson called me last week and asked me to come and join five or six other post-ops at the Convention for Canadian Surgical Operating Room Nurses on April 26th. I put together a little speech and powerpoint presentation. We were all really well received. I am today still receiving emails from some of the nurses in attendence who wanted to follow up on my presentation. If only one or two of them go away from that and consider working in Bariatrics then my day was well spent.
Well today was the TC 10K 2007 in Victoria. Don and I went down yesterday and had dinner with about 25 of the other WLS-ers. I must have looked stuck up when I walked right past a couple of them who had lost so much weight I didn't recognize them. All I can say is Wow! Not a bad looking group!
This year I managed to talk my sweet hubby into sweats and pinning on a particpants number. He walked the 10K with Kris. I am so proud of him. He finished in 1:39:16.
Because I was running we started at different times.There were thousands and the route was crazy crowded. I spent a good deal of time ducking in and out of the crowd just trying to find space to call my own. It was a clear sunny day but there was a wicked head wind especially down on Dallas Rd. It was so resistant that I just wanted to give up and walk the rest of the way. Alas that little nagging voice inside my head kept pushing me. I was carrying in my hand a picture of my father and everytime I doubted myself I just looked down at him. Sappy I know but this was for the Heart and Stroke and I lost my father and Dons father to complications so this was for both of them.
I am proud to say that through adversity I managed to beat my last years time by one minute and 13 seconds. Next one I'll get smart , get up earlier and have more than a cup of coffee under my belt as fuel. Geez talking about the next one while the muscles are still screaming! I have put out the challenge already to others and committed myself to doing the half marathon (20K) in Oct. Well I should get going and nurse my blazing sunburn and Don's massive blisters (really!!!we did have fun!)
Don and Di
Times Columnist 10K 2007
Post Run BBQ. Fellow WLS-ers
Al, Maureen, Kris, Diana, Gloria, Lisa and Ken
Kris, Lisa, Diana and Athena at Nurses convention picture by Ron Merck
Dr Amson at convention photo courtesy of Ron Merck
Myself with Gloria
Only seven sleeps till her surgery date!
June 03/2007
Next Sunday is the Walk for Miracles in Vancouver. This is Walmarts #1 Goodworks fundraiser. The proceeds of which goes to all of the Childrens Hospitals across Canada.I am so blessed to have two healthy children but am cognizant that if the need arises these specialized services they are at my fingertips. I am happy to be fundraising for this great cause my personal link is
https://secure.e2rm.com/registrant/personalPage.aspx?EventID=9516&LangPref=en-CA&RegistrationID=309716 . I had every intention of running this event until 9 year old Paige expressed her desire to participate in the 5 Km event. It seemed more important to involve her in exercise aspect and good will then to try and beat my best times. She is busy collecting pledges and in one day has nearly $50. It will be a long day as we leave here at 4am. Will update you all.
I just want to thank all of you who visit this site and send such supportive emails and leave kind messages in my guestbook. It is gratifying to know that I can lend some support to those of you just starting your journey to "the other side". To all of you I say have patience and do your research. Give of yourself 100%. I have one young lady in my Courtenay support group that makes me very proud. Even before her consultation she started making changes and tackles it all head-on full well knowing how long the waiting lists are. People like her are more likely to succeed as a post-op because she doesn't make excuses now. One of my more mature ladies could not even walk when we met up last year due to hip problems. She started in the water and is now walking and has lost 30 lbs(?). Thre is some true inspiration for those of you out there who say "I can't". She thought she couldn't either but gave it a whirl and is working her way back.
So even if you can't imagine finishing a 5Km event like the Walk For Miracles...sign up and walk however far your can and challenge yoursel. For inspiration I leave you with this article that was published in the Times Columnist the day after the TC 10K
Bert Boutilier was the last person to cross the finish line at the Times Colonist 10K on Sunday, but in many ways, he was the champion of the event.
It was the longest distance the 56-year-old has ever walked, and a proud personal milestone for someone who has lost 230 pounds in the past three years after gastric bypass weight loss surgery.
“My legs are burning, my back is burning and my feet hurt,” said the now 320-pound Boutilier, as he leaned against his walker and glanced at his finish time — two hours and 39 minutes.
But I just kept putting one foot in front of the other.”
Boutilier was one of 10,000 people who walked or ran in the annual TC 10K on Sunday, and like many, his goal was to complete the event and set a time to try to beat next year.
Just a few years ago, Boutilier said, he wasn’t able to walk as far as the nearest bus stop. After his surgery, as his health improved, he started training with longer walks.
Still, yesterday’s race was, by his own admission, an extraordinarily demanding test of his physical fitness.
Thankfully, he had some unexpected help. Along the way, he experienced the kind of compassion and friendliness veteran runners say is a hallmark of the event.
When he was most tired and ready to give up, Boutilier met a complete stranger named Barbara Reuther. She was so inspired by his story that she abandoned her own race goals and spent the rest of the event walking with, and encouraging, Boutilier to finish.
“I probably would have quit halfway through without her,” said Boutilier.
The two walked side-by-side through the rest of the race.
They finished in last place, as the glitz and glamour of the event was fading. Workers were removing the large signs and taking down the guardrails as Boutilier and Reuther arrived.The cheering crowds were gone, but a handful of workers stopped packing away the bright multicoloured flags that lined the event sidelines to clap their arrival.
“We’re not last,” said Reuther, who stood smiling with Boutilier near the finish line.
“We’re ahead of everybody else who didn’t even join.”
June 23, 2007
Today I had amazing fun! 2 1/2 years ago I would never have even considered doing something as ludicrious. We drove to the Bungy Zone in Nanaimo (no I am not that whacked!)
Check out the Show Me page for pics of the course. Now,keep in mind, I have always had a fear of heights so this was a great accomplishment for me. The obese me would never have done it in fear that the climbing harness wouldn';t go around me or the lines wouldn''t stand the test of me. Today I was a hundred feet in the air hurtling from tree to tree, balancing plank to plank and climbing huge cargo nets.. It was exhilerating. Paige wanted to do the adult course and was too small. I wish I still had her fearlessness. She nonetheless conquored the kids' course a couple of times. We will go back in a couple of weeks when I have vacation and play again. Talk about adreneline and having to push past fears.
I tell you if I had the investors I would be opening one up here in the Comox Valley it would be great in conjustion with Mt Washington.
By the way Gwen Stefeni concert last weekend rocked. She came up to our section within five seats of us and Paige ran right up to her. A great thrill. Wish we had the new camera we bought today. We would have much better pics of her then.
Well Dr Amsons annual picnic is coming up in a couple of weeks. Gosh I think this is my fourth. I will update after that!
October 20th, 2007
Gakkk...Where did time go?! Sometimes you just put things on the back burner and they get away from you. This diary and my weight have suffered by being ignored.
My left knee that had plauged me as a pre-op has come back to haunt me. I don't know if the running just irritated what was already there but now it locks and clicks and just gives out. I am now on a waiting list to see a orthopedist.
Left to a sedantary life, ignoring the bathroom scale ( I was in the habit of weighing everyday) and giving into indulging cravings with evening grazing as a cherry on the cake; the end result was a gain of 13 pounds. I ignored the fact that my clothes were getting tight and stubbornly let the dust settle on my scale. That is how I became obese in the first case. Denial. Well I am back on track in some ways. I need to increase my exercise still and that will take off the rest of what crept on. This is why I am so cynical to those who exclaim " out of the two hundreds FOREVER". Gastric bypass is not a miracle cure. If you don't work it the weight will creep back on. This December 4th will mark my 3 year re-birthday. It will still be another two years before I can officially pat myself on the back and declare myself a success story.
In September I handed the leadership reins of the North Island WLS Support group over to another. It was actually bittersweet but it is time. The group will be my touch stone and and I when time permits ( where do we find that!) I go online and try to catch up a little on my peers progress. I however do not check the boards two times a day las I have for years.
. Most of those I work with never knew the "obese me" and so much time has past that those whom did have a hard time remembering that image. It has taken three years but now I am not the topic of conversation at the table. I am not the center of attention and I am OK with that. Today I am just Diana.
